Perfection is a myth. Life is a gift. Embrace your curves, embrace your life.


Have fun and take advantage of all the events, tastes and sounds the city has to offer!


I love to eat out and cook. City life is pretty tasty either way!

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Having The Wedding Dress Before The Engagement Ring - Curvy Over 40

Late in 2017 my boyfriend, Simon, let me know that he intended to marry me! It was wonderful not only to have the man I love, the man that wasn't perfect but perfect for me share his intention for us to begin our life together.  But to be honest, the thought also sent me in to a tailspin.  

You see, as someone who was by them firmly IN her 40's, I think somewhere along the way I had decided that perhaps being a wife wasn't in the cards. But, I always knew I wanted to have a family, and that for me that family likely meant being a wife.  However, everything from my dubious choices in dating partners to all the stories of black women either not wanting to marry or being unable to find mates, made me unsure if marriage was a reality for me. 

However with Simon, our conversations about being married and getting married have always been fairly transparent (its his 2nd marriage).  So when in a late night conversation asked me if I wanted that to get married and then we went ring shopping a few months later in late 2017 I realized he was actually serious and it was coming. 

At the top of 2018, he REALLY started pressing me to start thinking about what I wanted for the wedding - he knew that the adjustment to this idea would take some time and felt I should gather my close friends to support me for the inevitable. So when my mom was in town from LA that weekend, at his encouragement, we went to Kleinfled’s just to say we did and just kinda play with the idea of dresses. 

But, something terrible and wonderful happened ... I SAID YES TO THE DRESS?! 

I had NO ring but had this amazing dress? How'd I go from marriage wary to a Kleinfeld's bride?  No idea, I knew it was right but my head was swimming.  I bought a dress before he asked? Are we cursed? What if it wasn't right? (for the record I still LOVE my dress) This dress defintely made my transient thoughts about a elopement or courthouse wedding out the door. This dress as they say "upped the ante."

But, hey who can focus, cause my mom's in town and two days later we had already scheduled dinner with all of our parents at the location our first ACTUAL date at Spuntino Wine Bar in NJWhen we arrived were seated at the back of the restaurant in a semi-private room, which I found strange but shrugged off.  

At the end of dinner and we’re discussing family and family tragedies, the convo was very somber. Then, out of the blue Si tells me to tell his parents that I’d bought the wedding dress and I was MORTIFIED! I felt foolish for getting the dress (even though my mom encouraged me heavily) and wanted that to be a secret, so I couldn’t believe he was bringing it up — in front of our parents. Then he uses this to start an argument saying things like “Why would you do this, this puts a lot of pressure on me. And even though I did tell you to go I didn’t think I’d really buy something.” 

And the whole time I’m confused, and getting steadily madder. We very rarely argue, and NEVER in public and DEFINITELY not in front of our parents! I say... “But you’re the one who told me to go, you have me out here on an island all alone!” As I looked away briefly to try to compose myself, I hear him say. “Welllll, I don’t want you to be on an island all alone.” And I turn back around and he’s on one knee with the most gorgeous ring and he asks me to marry him. But now, I’m confused. What’s happening? Then I’m mad like you a$$hole! I’m over here all mad and that was just a joke?!  Finally after I tell him he’s all this, he’s still on his knee! He asks if it’s a yes and I say well of course and we kiss and embrace and I put on the ring.

So, here I am, 41 and planning one of the most special days and moments in my life.  It goes to show you that God really does grant you the desires of your heart, and that anything is possible if you always believe in love.  

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

What's A #CurvyCrave? Soup Season is here - Craving French Onion Soup

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter at Curvy in the City, you've likely noticed that I often hashtag things #curvycrave, so much so I started a separate Instagram account for it.  But, what exactly is a "curvy crave"?

A curvy crave is essentially anything I've eaten, cooked, been made, read, see throughout my week that gives me pause to say "God, that was good", "I want it" or "I need it" or "I gotta go there."  Essentially its my week in round up of the things you've gotta check out from my favorite publications and people online!

Also, I've recently changed my diet - lost a few pounds, cleanse once a week (I turn 40 soon...more on that another time) so my all my #curvycrave's recently (fine, ok ALWAYS) have been food related. Now that it's cold here in NYC I've been craving comfort food. And right now here's what I'm craving - lately. Cheese.Onions.Bread. Heaven, otherwise known as French Onion Soup!

#CurvyCrave French Onion Soup
from Serious Eats

One of my favorite ways to enjoy cheese is melted Gruyere over a classic French Onion soup. Here's a great recipe for you to make this indulgence at home via Serious Eats!

Not in the mood to make French Onion Soup?  Here are my recommendations of great places to enjoy this classic dish!

The Kettle (Manhattan Beach, CA) 
This is the first place I ever had this dish.  The Kettle may be my favorite 24 hour institution in LA. Where else can you get french cuisine with a Cali-healthy twist.  They have a different house-made soup on special daily (the broccoli cheese is reason enough to go) but the onion soup is there daily. Try the perfectly steaming, slaty, onion-y and cheesy version served as it should be in it's own personal earthen-ware crock, in addition to their delicious entrees (pot roast is among my favorites), sandwiches (squab bread, tuna, sprouts and avocado? yes, please) and salads (my cobb salad standards were also set here).

Chez Oskar (Brooklyn, NY)
So, sad that Chez Oskar is no longer walking distance in Fort Greene. But, I am happy they survived and relocated (to my old hood) in BedSty.  They make a perfect classic rendition of most French food and their French Onion Soup is no exception.  Order it (and some fries and a glass of house wine) and you won't even mind that the sun setting earlier and earlier these days.

Balthazar (New York City (Soho))
An obvious one, because they do every French classic so well.  But this is the perfect dish to order at the bar with some pommes frites and enjoy the scene.  Sometimes I like to order it as I wait for a table, which I end up never going to cause I'm usually having way too good a time at the bar.

Monday, January 25, 2016

On Being Black and Female

I'm tired of it all being our fault
She shouldn't post pics like that
She's fast, he wouldn't have bothered her if she wasn't
She should smile
She shouldn't be too loud
She's way too quiet
She's too (sassy, mean, angry...)
She shouldn't have gone to see him
She knew what was going down by going over there
Why was she even in that area at that time of night
She knew what she was doing wearing that
She trying to hide but I still see those/that (insert body part)
She shouldn't have gone to that party
She shouldn't have been disrespectful to the officer
She shouldn't be wearing that
She should have been more polite when she got pulled over
She shouldn't have had that hoodie on
She is just trying to bring a (insert adjective) man down
She shouldn't have reported that to the (insert authority figure)
She should have known better
Tired of none of our decisions being right
Tired of having to be extra good, extra nice, extra tolerant, extra vigilant
Tired of us wearing the guilt on our shoulders even when we are trying to heal as survivors
Tired ...

Monday, January 19, 2015

Lessons in Love from Jon Cusack as Jake in "Must Love Dogs"

"You know, but I think your heart grows back bigger. You know? Once you get the shit beat out of you. And, um, the universe lets your heart expand that way, and I think that's the function of all this pain and heartache that you go through and you gotta go through that to come out to a better place and that's how I see it, anyway." 
-Jake (John Cusack) Must Love Dogs

You can't let the hurt DEFINE you.

Because he/she hurt you, manipulated you, destroyed you...we have to remember that its part of the journey.

If you're anything like me, your heart has expanded ALOT over the past few years, but just imagine what that means about the capacity to love with that big stretched heart?

I have so much love to give and so much room to receive, despite the hurt, tears and the rest. God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. Remember that.


Friday, January 16, 2015

Curves, Culture and . . .FEAR

Ok, yes I have said that before. Multiple times.

You see, I have come to this page...OFTEN to write.  I have written tons of blogs on pieces of paper, in my cell phone, in blogger, on email and more.  Blogs, musings, short stories, rants . . . that never saw the light of day because I keep giving myself reasons not to talk to you curvy's!

Some of those reasons include:
But I don't want to be a plus fashion blogger.
I have no time
I have no style, no one wants to see me on camera.
I'll come back when i revamp
Plan some more...
[Yada Yada Blah Blah] is already is in my lane, I have nothing to contribute.
I have horse teeth.
I've written more than a few blogs that no longer feel timely, why keep doing that.
I'm tired.
Does anyone even care?
Rolls, I got one wants to see those.
I've said I was gonna blog before--and fell off, I'm the blogger that cried blogger, and people think I'm lame.
I use words like lame.
I look to fat on camera.
I'm not a real writer.
What if I fail.
What if . . .
And then there is the vulnerability that comes with being a curvy, plus, cusp, #doubledigitdiva.  The vulnerability you feel when you put yourself "out there" in these here internets.  I was afraid of backlash, of comments, of hate.

I was AFRAID. So, so, so afraid.

But then I realized something: I am tired of being afraid.

So, I'm here. Raw. Naked. Honest. Not giving up this time.

Thanks to those of you who have encouraged and badgered me to come back...keep doing takes a village.

I am not sure what the future holds...but I am going to live in THIS moment and do what I feel when it seems right.



Friday, April 25, 2014

Curvy Crave of the Week: "The World's Most Indulgent Baked Potatoes"

I spend WAY too much time looking at pictures of food online.

Whether it's following Infatuation's #eeeeats hashtag on Instagram, reading posts from Saveur or Food and Wine or checking out tips from the food bloggers I love I can't get enough. Invariably, that leaves me headed in to my weekend with a serious cravings.

While it is very hard to pick what I am craving the most this week, hands down the one item that is making me go a bit crazy is this ridiculous recipe from Kitchen Daily for Poutine-Style Twice Baked Potatoes.

I love potatoes, it is my starch of choice...always.

You say in order to eat teriyaki chicken you need some great fragrant white rice? Puh-shah, put that over some french fries and be in heaven!  This combo was my go-to meal "treat meal" in elementary school at the Redondo Beach Pier (before the awesome teriyaki place burned down, RIP).  The fries soak up all that teriyaki sauce goodness and chicken and potatoes are good friends from way back.  But...I digress.

Oxtail Poutine from Chop Bar in Oakland, CA

The best thing about potatoes is that much like Bubba in Forest Gump, there are a kazillion ways to make them.  Having become all to well acquainted with cheese fries and gravy fries in my youth, I am a new convert to poutine.  However, poutine is a glorious, glorious food combining the things I love to cover my fries in (I forgot to put in an honorable mention for chili) with a French twist.  Even the name poutine makes you feel better about eating doesn't exactly SOUND like fries covered in gravy and cheese (curds). It sounds sophisticated.

This recipe is AMAZING because it takes several of the BEST things about potatoes and combines them in to one deliciously decadent recipe.  "First they're stuffed with sour cream and Parmigiano-Reggiano, then they're topped with tangy gravy, melted mozzarella, bits of crisp bacon and, finally, fried potato skins."

Check out the full recipe at Kitchen Daily.

What are YOUR curves craving this week?

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

It's Fatkini Season!

The swim lines are out, and there has never been more selection in plus-size two pieces.  About this time, two years ago the lovely Gabi Gregg dared to go on vacation and flaunt her curves in a two-piece from Simply Be, bringing to the forefront on a national level (hello, Today Show segments) the topic of fat shaming but also the choice as a double digit diva to wear something other than a tankini or one-piece.

One of my favorite bloggers, The Militant Baker has a great recap of some of the great bikinis out there available in double digit sizes and I am in love with the suits at Forever 21 (see pic above), ModCloth (this gingham!!), Monif C (more on the AWESOME launch party soon) and of course the second super cute, super fast selling line by Gabi Gregg for SwimsuitsforAll.

Love this fringe bikini spied at the Monif C preview party.
While we still have a long way to go, in people accepting their bodies (including myself) but what I really love is the versatility afforded me by the new interest by fashion brands in girls my size and larger. I can wear a one-piece one day, a retro bikini the next, and a midkini the next (see Gabi Fresh's ADORABLE suit below) and feel confident and beautiful the whole time!

Are you planning to rock a bikini this summer?