Having The Wedding Dress Before The Engagement Ring - Curvy Over 40

Late in 2017 my boyfriend, Simon, let me know that he intended to marry me! It was wonderful not only to have the man I love, the man that wasn't perfect but perfect for me share his intention for us to begin our life together.  But to be honest, the thought also sent me in to a tailspin.  


You see, as someone who was by them firmly IN her 40's, I think somewhere along the way I had decided that perhaps being a wife wasn't in the cards. But, I always knew I wanted to have a family, and that for me that family likely meant being a wife.  However, everything from my dubious choices in dating partners to all the stories of black women either not wanting to marry or being unable to find mates, made me unsure if marriage was a reality for me. 


However with Simon, our conversations about being married and getting married have always been fairly transparent (its his 2nd marriage).  So when in a late night conversation asked me if I wanted that to get married and then we went ring shopping a few months later in late 2017 I realized he was actually serious and it was coming. 

At the top of 2018, he REALLY started pressing me to start thinking about what I wanted for the wedding - he knew that the adjustment to this idea would take some time and felt I should gather my close friends to support me for the inevitable. So when my mom was in town from LA that weekend, at his encouragement, we went to Kleinfled’s just to say we did and just kinda play with the idea of dresses. 

But, something terrible and wonderful happened ... I SAID YES TO THE DRESS?! 

I had NO ring but had this amazing dress? How'd I go from marriage wary to a Kleinfeld's bride?  No idea, I knew it was right but my head was swimming.  I bought a dress before he asked? Are we cursed? What if it wasn't right? (for the record I still LOVE my dress) This dress defintely made my transient thoughts about a elopement or courthouse wedding out the door. This dress as they say "upped the ante."


But, hey who can focus, cause my mom's in town and two days later we had already scheduled dinner with all of our parents at the location our first ACTUAL date at Spuntino Wine Bar in NJ. When we arrived were seated at the back of the restaurant in a semi-private room, which I found strange but shrugged off.  


At the end of dinner and we’re discussing family and family tragedies, the convo was very somber. Then, out of the blue Si tells me to tell his parents that I’d bought the wedding dress and I was MORTIFIED! I felt foolish for getting the dress (even though my mom encouraged me heavily) and wanted that to be a secret, so I couldn’t believe he was bringing it up — in front of our parents. Then he uses this to start an argument saying things like “Why would you do this, this puts a lot of pressure on me. And even though I did tell you to go I didn’t think I’d really buy something.” 

And the whole time I’m confused, and getting steadily madder. We very rarely argue, and NEVER in public and DEFINITELY not in front of our parents! I say... “But you’re the one who told me to go, you have me out here on an island all alone!” As I looked away briefly to try to compose myself, I hear him say. “Welllll, I don’t want you to be on an island all alone.” And I turn back around and he’s on one knee with the most gorgeous ring and he asks me to marry him. But now, I’m confused. What’s happening? Then I’m mad like you a$$hole! I’m over here all mad and that was just a joke?!  Finally after I tell him he’s all this, he’s still on his knee! He asks if it’s a yes and I say well of course and we kiss and embrace and I put on the ring.

So, here I am, 41 and planning one of the most special days and moments in my life.  It goes to show you that God really does grant you the desires of your heart, and that anything is possible if you always believe in love.  

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What's A #CurvyCrave? Soup Season is here - Craving French Onion Soup

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter at Curvy in the City, you've likely noticed that I often hashtag things #curvycrave, so much so I started a separate Instagram account for it.  But, what exactly is a "curvy crave"?

A curvy crave is essentially anything I've eaten, cooked, been made, read, see throughout my week that gives me pause to say "God, that was good", "I want it" or "I need it" or "I gotta go there."  Essentially its my week in round up of the things you've gotta check out from my favorite publications and people online!

Also, I've recently changed my diet - lost a few pounds, cleanse once a week (I turn 40 soon...more on that another time) so my all my #curvycrave's recently (fine, ok ALWAYS) have been food related. Now that it's cold here in NYC I've been craving comfort food. And right now here's what I'm craving - lately. Cheese.Onions.Bread. Heaven, otherwise known as French Onion Soup!

#CurvyCrave French Onion Soup

from Serious Eats

One of my favorite ways to enjoy cheese is melted Gruyere over a classic French Onion soup. Here's a great recipe for you to make this indulgence at home via Serious Eats!

Not in the mood to make French Onion Soup?  Here are my recommendations of great places to enjoy this classic dish!

The Kettle (Manhattan Beach, CA) 
This is the first place I ever had this dish.  The Kettle may be my favorite 24 hour institution in LA. Where else can you get french cuisine with a Cali-healthy twist.  They have a different house-made soup on special daily (the broccoli cheese is reason enough to go) but the onion soup is there daily. Try the perfectly steaming, slaty, onion-y and cheesy version served as it should be in it's own personal earthen-ware crock, in addition to their delicious entrees (pot roast is among my favorites), sandwiches (squab bread, tuna, sprouts and avocado? yes, please) and salads (my cobb salad standards were also set here).

Chez Oskar (Brooklyn, NY)
So, sad that Chez Oskar is no longer walking distance in Fort Greene. But, I am happy they survived and relocated (to my old hood) in BedSty.  They make a perfect classic rendition of most French food and their French Onion Soup is no exception.  Order it (and some fries and a glass of house wine) and you won't even mind that the sun setting earlier and earlier these days.

Balthazar (New York City (Soho))
An obvious one, because they do every French classic so well.  But this is the perfect dish to order at the bar with some pommes frites and enjoy the scene.  Sometimes I like to order it as I wait for a table, which I end up never going to cause I'm usually having way too good a time at the bar.

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On Being Black and Female

I'm tired of it all being our fault
She shouldn't post pics like that
She's fast, he wouldn't have bothered her if she wasn't
She should smile
She shouldn't be too loud
She's way too quiet
She's too (sassy, mean, angry...)
She shouldn't have gone to see him
She knew what was going down by going over there
Why was she even in that area at that time of night
She knew what she was doing wearing that
She trying to hide but I still see those/that (insert body part)
She shouldn't have gone to that party
She shouldn't have been disrespectful to the officer
She shouldn't be wearing that
She should have been more polite when she got pulled over
She shouldn't have had that hoodie on
She is just trying to bring a (insert adjective) man down
She shouldn't have reported that to the (insert authority figure)
She should have known better
Tired of none of our decisions being right
Tired of having to be extra good, extra nice, extra tolerant, extra vigilant
Tired of us wearing the guilt on our shoulders even when we are trying to heal as survivors
Tired ...

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Lessons in Love from Jon Cusack as Jake in "Must Love Dogs"

"You know, but I think your heart grows back bigger. You know? Once you get the shit beat out of you. And, um, the universe lets your heart expand that way, and I think that's the function of all this pain and heartache that you go through and you gotta go through that to come out to a better place and that's how I see it, anyway." 
-Jake (John Cusack) Must Love Dogs

You can't let the hurt DEFINE you.

Because he/she hurt you, manipulated you, destroyed you...we have to remember that its part of the journey.

If you're anything like me, your heart has expanded ALOT over the past few years, but just imagine what that means about the capacity to love with that big stretched heart?

I have so much love to give and so much room to receive, despite the hurt, tears and the rest. God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. Remember that.

xo,
ericamichele

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Curves, Culture and . . .FEAR

Ok, yes I have said that before. Multiple times.

You see, I have come to this page...OFTEN to write.  I have written tons of blogs on pieces of paper, in my cell phone, in blogger, on email and more.  Blogs, musings, short stories, rants . . . that never saw the light of day because I keep giving myself reasons not to talk to you curvy's!

Some of those reasons include:
But I don't want to be a plus fashion blogger.
I have no time
I have no style, no one wants to see me on camera.
I'll come back when i revamp
Plan some more...
[Yada Yada Blah Blah] is already is in my lane, I have nothing to contribute.
I have horse teeth.
I've written more than a few blogs that no longer feel timely, why keep doing that.
I'm tired.
Does anyone even care?
Rolls, I got rolls....no one wants to see those.
I've said I was gonna blog before--and fell off, I'm the blogger that cried blogger, and people think I'm lame.
I use words like lame.
I look to fat on camera.
I'm not a real writer.
What if I fail.
What if . . .
And then there is the vulnerability that comes with being a curvy, plus, cusp, #doubledigitdiva.  The vulnerability you feel when you put yourself "out there" in these here internets.  I was afraid of backlash, of comments, of hate.

I was AFRAID. So, so, so afraid.

But then I realized something: I am tired of being afraid.

So, I'm here. Raw. Naked. Honest. Not giving up this time.

Thanks to those of you who have encouraged and badgered me to come back...keep doing it..it takes a village.

I am not sure what the future holds...but I am going to live in THIS moment and do what I feel when it seems right.

xoxo,

ericamichele

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Curvy Crave of the Week: "The World's Most Indulgent Baked Potatoes"

I spend WAY too much time looking at pictures of food online.

Whether it's following Infatuation's #eeeeats hashtag on Instagram, reading posts from Saveur or Food and Wine or checking out tips from the food bloggers I love I can't get enough. Invariably, that leaves me headed in to my weekend with a serious cravings.

While it is very hard to pick what I am craving the most this week, hands down the one item that is making me go a bit crazy is this ridiculous recipe from Kitchen Daily for Poutine-Style Twice Baked Potatoes.

I love potatoes, it is my starch of choice...always.

You say in order to eat teriyaki chicken you need some great fragrant white rice? Puh-shah, put that over some french fries and be in heaven!  This combo was my go-to meal "treat meal" in elementary school at the Redondo Beach Pier (before the awesome teriyaki place burned down, RIP).  The fries soak up all that teriyaki sauce goodness and chicken and potatoes are good friends from way back.  But...I digress.

Oxtail Poutine from Chop Bar in Oakland, CA

The best thing about potatoes is that much like Bubba in Forest Gump, there are a kazillion ways to make them.  Having become all to well acquainted with cheese fries and gravy fries in my youth, I am a new convert to poutine.  However, poutine is a glorious, glorious food combining the things I love to cover my fries in (I forgot to put in an honorable mention for chili) with a French twist.  Even the name poutine makes you feel better about eating it..it doesn't exactly SOUND like fries covered in gravy and cheese (curds). It sounds sophisticated.

This recipe is AMAZING because it takes several of the BEST things about potatoes and combines them in to one deliciously decadent recipe.  "First they're stuffed with sour cream and Parmigiano-Reggiano, then they're topped with tangy gravy, melted mozzarella, bits of crisp bacon and, finally, fried potato skins."

Check out the full recipe at Kitchen Daily.

What are YOUR curves craving this week?

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It's Fatkini Season!

The swim lines are out, and there has never been more selection in plus-size two pieces.  About this time, two years ago the lovely Gabi Gregg dared to go on vacation and flaunt her curves in a two-piece from Simply Be, bringing to the forefront on a national level (hello, Today Show segments) the topic of fat shaming but also the choice as a double digit diva to wear something other than a tankini or one-piece.

One of my favorite bloggers, The Militant Baker has a great recap of some of the great bikinis out there available in double digit sizes and I am in love with the suits at Forever 21 (see pic above), ModCloth (this gingham!!), Monif C (more on the AWESOME launch party soon) and of course the second super cute, super fast selling line by Gabi Gregg for SwimsuitsforAll.

www.modcloth.com

Love this fringe bikini spied at the Monif C preview party.

While we still have a long way to go, in people accepting their bodies (including myself) but what I really love is the versatility afforded me by the new interest by fashion brands in girls my size and larger. I can wear a one-piece one day, a retro bikini the next, and a midkini the next (see Gabi Fresh's ADORABLE suit below) and feel confident and beautiful the whole time!

Are you planning to rock a bikini this summer?

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Dinner and a General Tso's Chicken Movie

Photo from www.saveur.com

I love Chinese food. Like, if you ask me if I want to go for Chinese--even when the answer is no, its really, yes.

Ok, well, let me say that differently, I love American-ized Chinese food, and while my favorite take out order isn't General Tso's Chicken (I am a Orange Peel Beef Fanatic, though), the sweet and spicy dish is a go-to for me at least every 4th order or so.  It's pretty clear that General Tso's fried and sweet deliciousness was cooked up for American tastes, but its ubiquitous on EVERY Chinese menu you find in America, regardless of location is fascinating.

That is why I was completely transfixed by the new documentary airing at the Tribeca Film Festival this month called "The Search for General Tso." Watch the trailer here.

If you are now craving General Tso's chicken like me, you can make your own via this yummy recipe from Saveur or check out New York Daily news' list of the best places in NYC to eat the delicacy.

Would you watch the film? What's your favorite take-out Chinese food item?

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Boozey Tuesday: Tax Day edition

via www.thekitchn.com

So, its tax day.  Either you're one of those people who is elated to get some HUGE refund to spend on that new thing you want but probably don't need.  Or, you're one of those people who considers this akin to death, a reminder that we live in a government that takes an unbelievable portion of our salaries away, "Who the HELL is FICA?!?" has probably been uttered out of your mouth at least once.  Either way, I am thinking this requires a drink.

On tax day, happy or sad, I think you should keep it simple.  And my latest spirit of choice is whisky.  The genius of a simple "neat" cocktail is that it can be easily ordered (and it's impossible to mess up) at a bar, or you can enjoy from the comfort of your own couch.  One of my favorite blogs, The Kitchn, gives you a step by step guide to making yourself ready to drink your whisky neat here.

But, it's tax day so who has time for steps (you just did enough of those steps in filing your returns, right!?) I say choose your favorite (or ask your bartender for his favorite, then order the one one grade down from that one) pour yourself 1.5 ounces, sip and enjoy.

Erica Michele's Tax Day - Neat
1.5 ounces of Jameson
Clean Glass (tumbler, or rock's glass preferred)
Stella Artois Beer bottle (as a chaser)

Pour Jameson into a glass. Open your Stella. Take a lingering sip of the Jameson. 30 seconds later take a lingering sip of beer. Repeat until you love the American government again.

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Pancetta, Crafting and The World's Best Cake: Sweet Paul's "Eat, Make . . ."

Pancetta, crafting and The World's Best Cake are all found in the new book from the crafting and cooking genius behind Sweet Paul Magazine.  Sweet Paul, aka Paul Lowe Einlyng,  uses his magazine, and his new book "Sweet Paul: Eat, Make..." to highlight "food and crafts through the lens of his seasoned stylist’s eye.

via www.sweetpaulmag.com s

Paul believes that perfection is boring, something I wholeheartedly believe. His genius is that he takes things that are simple, and elevate them to new heights, celebrating life's imperfections as well as its glorious beauty.  If you follow me on Twitter, you know I am a big fan of the simple, crave-inducing recipes from @sweetpaul like Brussel Sprouts with Pancetta AND Blue Cheese?! Maybe I really love him because pancetta makes its way in to a few recipes, like this delicious bite below.

via sweetpaulmag.com

A few weeks ago, I was fortunate enough to tag along with one of my besites to the New York launch party for "Eat, Make . . ."  While there was no making (I really felt like there should have been a craft of some kind) there was indeed drinking, eating, mingling and of course, book signing at the Anthropologie in Chelsea Market.  Upon arriving, we nibbled, sipped and took a look at the book which is gorgeous and features tons of curve worthy craveable recipes, like the aforementioned WORLD'S BEST CAKE.  Although, there was no cake there were cake POPS and other great nibbles.

My favorite bite was a sort of caprese salad skewer with a balsamic infusion speared in the tomato.  I LOVE balsamic and the grape tomatoes and mozzarella were an inventive and delicious combination.

If you love crafting and simple living, make sure to pick up a copy of the book "Sweet Paul: Eat, Make . . ." and subscribe to the gorgeous Pinterest feed while you're at it, too!

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Curvy Confessions: Lessons in Commitment and Vulnerability

Sometime in 2012, I was keenly aware that something in my life had to change.

You see, I was fed up with getting by but never quite getting ahead. I had also recently discovered that my genetics and years of trying to hold it all together had begun to take their toll, and I'd finally had my first panic attack.

Clearly something had to change.

It was about that time that I also began to discover how insecure I was and how my insecurities were fueling my decisions on almost every level. I couldn't even love what I looked like in the mirror. So, like any Scorpio I began to brood. I poured over old pictures and old journals, not even really knowing what I was searching for. I came a cross old memories. Now, as a passive observer, I noticed how damn cute I actually was/am, because that was the opposite of how I felt at the time.

At that time: I'd lost almost 50 lbs for a man who still loathed my curves. At that time: someone who I thought was my best friend told me I did indeed look fat (for the record just don't ask "do I look fat in this.")  At that time: there were also the fond memories; the fun, silly drunken fun of my mid to late 20s, the Sunday Dinners I cooked for friends and for profit, the street food, the meals made on a super budget and the cheap eats of LA, NY  and beyond. Looking back on all of this something clicked; even when I was a "straight size" I was curvy and the commonality in my joyous and not so joyous moments was food and exploring the "city."

I also have known, for a very long time, that I was a storyteller, a writer.  My comfort in every situation I have ever been in, for as long as I could imagine was writing.  When I was in elementary school, I would, routinely, sit out kickball and foursquare to write in my journal and "think."  But, the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of showing my authentic self, living my struggle against my imperfections that has kept me from living my purpose.  I've always wanted to blend in, not stand out...but no matter how hard I try, I wasn't meant to blend, I've always stood out.

So in 2012 I decided, to start to try to live my truth.  Having a voice (or two) online, sharing my opinion and likeness to the world has been a process, but I've decided to (finally) stop running from the fear, rather running towards it.  In the past few months, I recognized that I needed to become more "Dauntless" about writing and sharing my voice. (Sorry, for the plug, but I AM currently reading (aka FULLY absorbed in) the Divergent trilogy, but more on that soon.) The fear of being vulnerable has kept me from this blog and kept me from sharing my stories, when I was born to do just that. This blog is my commitment to myself to live openly and authentically.  I won't always get it right, but I know that, that is the beauty of this journey. We grow, by making commitments. I am trying to grow so I am committing to Curvy in the City.

Thanks for joining me and supporting me.  Each day is a lesson and I look forward to the journey.

xo,
Erica Michele

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African Fashion and Community: Dear Curves

Currently, all eyes are on South Africa as the country and the world mourns the life of Nelson Mandela.  Thinking back on Mandela's life, I began to think about what life would be like on the continent (and abroad really) without his influence. And since at the day job I work with (and do a loot of hours) on a fashion brand, it got me thinking about the African influence on the fashion industry.  I wonder how many of these designers, who have been courageous in bringing African fashion, ideas and inspiration to the masses, would have fared without the courage and sacrifice of people like Mandela lighting the way.  

I feel it is very encouraging that Africa and African fashion is front and center lately; the fashion forward Kenyan textiles of Suno, the popular African inspired bridal magazine Munaluchi Bridal, and major brands  like Burberry and Marni have interpreted traditional African fashion prints – such as the Ankara For (which is super fab by the way!). What many of these developments have in common is the desire to bring the Western world African fashion and inspiration, while also choosing to do so in a way that is sustainable and benefits the greater community.

I mean for real? All of this!

I was introduced to the Nigerian-inspired Dear Curves line recently and I have to say, was easy to love!

Dear Curves, is an African inspired clothing line for plus size women is the brainchild of plus size model and fashion designer; Linda Idegwu. The brand strives to promote and represent Africa through fashion and our consistent usage of African wax print fabrics in the most creative way.  In addition, to offering American styling (read: peplums and pencil skirts) for the American curvy woman, the line also helps to create sustainable business for African fabric makers.

Sisi Eko Erle Print Dress

Based in London but with an eye to the street style of Lagos, Nigeria, the Dear Curves girl is urban and fashion forward while always keeping an eye on African tradition.  You can find her dancing the night way in London and New York, or meeting friends for a bite at a local bar (like Dear Curves favorite) Bar Zuma in the Knightsbridge district in London.

I really enjoy watching all of the creativity and diversity of the fashion world and am inspired by the focus of many of the brands to work with and contribute to local communities.  I think that is something we all can take with us--for profit--or not.  Our communities support us. When one prospers we all do.

“ As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” 

― Nelson Mandela

xoxo,

Erica Michele

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The Curvy Girls Guide to National Chicken Month!

It is with great elation that announce and celebrate National Chicken Month!  National Chicken Month, is a brilliant way devised by chicken producers to continue chicken sales that would begin to wane after the end of summer.

Let's start by getting the obvious out of the way.  I am a black woman and I am about to talk about why I love chicken.  But, well...I mean kill me, but I do. It's so yummy, so versatile, so satisfying!  But this should come as no surprise--I AM holding a piece of fried chicken on the homepage of this blog!

Chicken is delicious YEAR ROUND, not just during National Chicken Month.  This month just serves as a canvas to highlight just how awesome chicken is! Chicken even serves to make us laugh, mainly cause we all love it to eat and have fun with chickens. Who can forget Arrested Development's infamous chicken impersonation (coo, coo, ca chaw) or the epic chicken battle from Family Guy, and of course Foghorn Leghorn (Leghorn is a breed of chicken BTW) because of course, The Bird Is the Word!

Grilled, fried, poached, shredded, stewed, roasted . . . So many different ways to enjoy it!  (For the adventurous among you, read Andrew Zimmerman's breakdown EVERY yummy edible part of the chicken here)

My rules to what constitutes "good eating" bird:

Cut
I prefer the classic 1/4 chicken ---rich dark meat thighs & legs = yum.
Or....wings..cause you're not American if you don't like wings.

Skin
So as another not so secret reason why I am curvy...I love chicken skin. It has to be well seasoned and must always be crispy! The skin (done right) gives a lovely textural and savory note to any cut of chicken.

Confession time:I have a secret snack I make when I make my chipotle bbq stewed chicken.  I like to cook it initially with the skin letting the fat render and add flavor to the sauce, but it's texture doesn't make it awesome to enjoy.  Instead, I take the skins and pan fry them with a little salt and pepper and finish with a little chipotle bbq sauce.  Heaven, guilty delicious--heaven.

Cooking
Chicken should be cooked just thru, as too much cooking makes chicken horrible, texture and taste wise.  It should also be golden brown, not pale, not burnt but perfectly golden brown on the outside and juicy on the inside.  Chicken is a versatile and delicious food, when treated right.

I didn't get curvy by not eating...and much of what I eat is some great chicken.  My favorite types of chicken...all excel in one of the aforementioned categories:

1. Roast Chicken 
2. Rotisserie Chicken
3. Grilled Chicken
4. Korean Fried Chicken
5. Classic, Southern Style Fried Chicken

xoxo,

Erica Michele

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Curvy Woman Rant, A Girl on the Cusp

SO, it finally happened.  I had my very first Facebook rant!

I feel like I've crossed some sort of milestone.  But, that rant was necessary. It served to open me up to my passion and self-expression. I was in a rut, I was feeling so, many things, things I should have used the self-expression of my blog to get out, but I was...AFRAID.  Afraid to hurt people's feelings, afraid that if I became fully expressed I'd be rejected.  I worked in entertainment for the bulk of my career and still work in media now because expression fascinates me, it motivates me, it inspires me. Therefore, I needed to express who I was, without fear of what people would think of me.

WHAT SET ME OFF: I read some comments about a model's weight online, people felt the need to not only determine what that size was but then to question whether on not she was indeed "plus size."  The conversation that should have existed about the fashion, the styling, the shot, was all replaced with discourse about whether or not she was plus sized enough.  This rant, freed something in me and it needed to be said.

My anger was based on knowing what it's like to be on the cusp.  To be told by men I've loved and well meaning "friends" that I wasn't "that fat." Only to then open myself up to those who were (traditionally) plus size, who would surely not make me feel like that, to only be told I wasn't plus enough.  (Much like the model in question--who for the record is CLEARLY not straight size.) So I had to speak, I had to have a voice for those who sit there (like I did for many years) and take it.

For me, in an industry that should be about confidence for who you are and sometimes the lack of support by for those of who should be part of the same community baffles and angers me.  Body image issues transcends our racial, sexual orientation and gender boundaries. We in the plus community should be embracing ANY woman who is ostracized based on what size happens to be on the inside of their pair of jeans.  Confident women who have more than one number on their clothing label (I like to call us #doubledigitdivas) are a rarity.  We have a unique opportunity to preach love, self-love goes beyond body image, since for better or worse we are faced with dealing with that every day.

That's the community I am interested in being a part of...one that accepts our flaws but moves forward to be better.

I think many of you feel the same way, those of you who do I am glad to have your support.

xoxo,

Erica Michele

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Reviews: Best Bite I Ate...#CurvyBites

Last week was a CRAZY one, I was running around entertaining clients, hosting and planning Simply Be USA's #NYFallPreview event and generally on the run.  As a result I had some great and pretty indulgent meals last week.

People are always asking me about what restaurants to try and thankfully my Yelp! reviews offer some insight in to where to go, but then even after all that, people are clamoring to know--well what do YOU like.

Without further ado, here are the best #CurvyBites of (last) week:



#3
Coconut Rice, The Hurricane Club
Hood: Flatiron/Nomad

I planned the menu for the Simply Be event after spending WAY too much time reading reviews of the food. While everything I ate was great (the cashew chicken and fish were particularly outstanding) the coconut rice, got reordered again and again.  Perfectly sweet, stick and indulgent, and served in a hollowed out coconut, this rice is the perfect creamy accompaniment to the rich food, but it is so good, I'd come eat a bowl of it...by itself....for dinner.

#2
Shackburger (double), Shake Shack
Hood: Downtown Brooklyn

What do you want after a VERY long week spent logging in 12-14 hour days? A burger and a beer with your bestie, that's what.  Thanks to a Shake Shack that I could walk to (if i wanted to take a long leisurely stroll) I did just that.  While I am STILL partial to the In n Out (sue me, its the taste of childhood for me, ok?) this double patty monster, was probably too much---really great flavor, perfectly cooked--they weren't stingy on the cheese--even without my grilled onions this bite left me satisfied.

#1
Tuesday July 23rd Special, The Breslin
Hood: Flatiron/Nomad

Let me just say I love the food at The Breslin, every time I come I end up having a great time.  The fun decor, the energy of the Ace Hotel Lobby bar (where I've seen the likes of LL Cool J and Questlove) and the simple yet complicated menu make it a great place to take wanna be foodies, Food Network stans and people you want to impress in an unpretentious way.

We went with me promising The Best Thing I Ever Ate lamb burger to my UK friends, and that's just what we would have gotten, if only....If only we hadn't walked in while the servers were oohinng, and licking their lips as the staff was tasting the special entree for the evening.

The server literally couldn't contain her excitement to tell us what was on the menu special that evening.  Duck breast with a sweet and sour cherry glaze, served with a homemade duck sausage, fingerlings and grilled green onions. Ummm, so where do I sign up? $32? Who cares--I am WATCHING them cook this from my seat and the care she is taking making this, let's me know I MUST have this.

Best bites of the week!

Duck was cooked PERFECTLY, the sausage spiced wonderfully the glaze served to tie it all together and was neither too acidic or too sweet and the fingerlings gave the dish a nice bit of earthiness to ground it out.

Lesson learned, in an April Bloomfield restaurant--f-what the Food network told ya--order the special.

Tell me which of these bites, sounds the best to you?

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Thoughts on BFFs: Travyon and Rachel

So, yes I am angry.

Yes, the killing of an unarmed teen, who ran away, then fought for his life and his killer was allowed to be free TWICE.

But, this is not what this blog is about.

This is about the hate we all ignore.  The hate that given the verdict and anger that we won't talk about anymore.  The vilification of not just who Travyon was, but of who his best friend IS.

I have been wanting to say some things for quite some time about Rachel Jeantel.  Unlike many, many others, before I made my thoughts known I wanted to do a bit of background research and take the time to really figure out what I wanted to say.

There have been a number of amazing articles and thoughts about Rachel, but a recent report by Black America Web, an interview with the attorney in the trial exposed exactly my thoughts on Rachel's' testimony and treatment by those in the sometimes toxic social media space.

Don't get me wrong.  I agree that we should all be angry about Travyon, we should all DO something about the perpetuation that violence against black men is justified by acquittal's like this.  But we should be equally angry at the ways that we treat our young women.  How do you think Rachel feels at this moment? She subjected herself to ridicule, her anger didn't have a place in that court room, her hurt her testimony, her sacrifice all meant....nothing.

I am not here to discuss the details of her testimony.  Whether or not she's credible or a liar.  I'm not even going to touch the "speech" and "illiteracy" debate either.  The one thing that has from the on set caused me great concern is what we as a society do to the Rachel Jeantel's of the world.  By her own admission, Rachel and Trayvon were friends because he was one of the few people to not make fun of her because of her weight or because of the color of her skin.

When Rachel walked in to that court room, before she ever opened her mouth--it began.  The cycle of loathing and hate that comes down to her weight and racial makeup.

What's even more disturbing? Most of this backlash, as witnessed in her own real-life, came from people in her own community--people who looked a lot like her.  She's not only been privately bashed for being who she is a dark skinned full figured black woman, but now she is demonized for the same things on a public level.  Is being dark skinned a crime? Does that make you ugly? Is being full figured/plus size make you ugly? Does being both together make you deserve public, private and let's face it inner ridicule?

The purpose of this blog and what I feel to be my mission in life is to have women accept who they are right now.  I want the Rachel Jeantel's of the world to know that she is beautiful, no matter what they say (cue the Christina Aguilera). I want dark skinned women, "fat' women to know that they deserve love and respect for who they are. It is my hope that the Rachel's of the world remember to remain confident and inspired even amongst the hate thrown their way, so that they don't internalize their "difference"a s being wrong.  I wonder if, given the public attention that Rachel has felt--how that deters MANY other women who look JUST like her--to internalize that the way they look is wrong, ugly or bad.

Remember folks, our words have infinite power. You may think your PRECIOUS comment only affects Rachel, but with social media young minds are watching and internalizing what we are saying.  I truly hope that we are inspired to look at our words, to take accountability for how we treat one another and then let's take it to the streets and hold everyone else accountable as well. Cause what happened to Trayvon, what Rachel had to listen to and live with every day for the rest of her life...is not OK and something has GOT to change.

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#FFFWeek, a reminder to stay Curvy & Confident

Hello Curvy Goddesses (& Gods)!

Please forgive my EXTENDED absence from the blog.  You see, in November I started working at an amazing new agency doing social media and time got scarce.  What's even MORE exciting is that I get the opportunity to work with one of my favorite brands as part of the day job!  All in all the past 6 months have been amazing and I am even MORE excited of what the year has in store for Curvy in the City.

I have to thank all the beautiful women who I've interacted with for work and well as on a personal level in the past few weeks, for inspiring me and reminding me why this blog is so important to me.  As most of you know, last week was Full Figure Fashion Week and the week prior to that I got to work with the brand I represent and some amazing blogger at a NYC Shop and Swap, and I left both events feeling in CONFIDENT and INSPIRED.

For those of you new to my journey, being curvy has been a lifelong "struggle" for me. Not a struggle as in a a struggle with my weight (that's an entirely different topic), but a struggle in acceptance.  Although I had an amazing and supportive mother, growing up in a family that demonized "fatness" made her and me not proud of our bodies.  As an adult I found myself attracting men and friends who shared a hatred of the curvy form.  But then, there was the relief of finding a community of curvy women who were beautiful and bold and confident, and I thought I'd found a home.....only to be told I wasn't curvy enough.  So, I felt unaccepted and without a place.  This blog became my place, my space, to heal, to learn to love and to work it out (literally and figuratively) with like-minded curvy souls.

Several of those souls I got the opportunity to interact with in the last week and I have found focusing on their beauty and love has allowed me to ignore the voices in my head and the voices from afar that say I am not "enough."  I had several really wonderful conversations with ladies this week about love, dating, body image, food and much more.  These conversations reminded me that beauty has nothing to do with the scale or how many digits are on those pair of jeans (love to all my #doubledigitdivas!) and everything to do with how you feel, staying true to who you are and how you treat your friends, sisters, competitors and even your enemies.

Overall the past few weeks have left me feeling uplifted and inspired.  I want to get more proactive in discussing how cuisine, fat shaming, body image affect not just us but our relationships with others and the world around us. Look out for more thoughts from me, more regularly---and welcome to the journey--it's gonna be a big year for us at CITC and I appreciate you all holding on for the ride!

xoxo,

Erica Michele

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11/1, One is the Magic Number

It's November 1st.
1-11
I've been seeing 11:11, every day, since I moved to NY almost 8 years ago.
17 days before my thirty...#th birthday.
The clocks turn back this weekend.
The city I love is hurting bad.
.  . .and it all leaves me feeling a little confused.

But then, there's the joy that is talking to my curvy lovers out there.

There's the joy of finding a job and career path that feels fulfilling and attainable.  (I start on Monday!)

There's the peace leaving behind the old model of my work life.
My relationship with my old job was like, well, like many of my relationships   The guy, I chased and from the moment I started dating him and had to prove that my quirky "me-ness" was good enough only for him to acknowledge I was good enough, but not....quite.

There is the joy in the freedom of knowing what I am worth, part of why I am here and a lot about who I am.

Therefore, this 1111 moment for me is one of grief at the past but with so much optimism and gratitude for the future.  Its of knowing I am where I am supposed to be at this moment and that God is guiding my steps.

This new year of life, is the year of one.  The year of me. Honoring myself means I honor everyone around me.

One is the magic number.

-Ericamichele

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Can "Big Girls" wear leather? (FashionStyle.com Guest Blog)

In a recent conversation with one of my favorite curvy friends, I suggested that she get some leather items for fall and she told me "Us Big Girls, can't wear leather!" For a moment, her comment took me back to the past - a past where I'd lived in ill-fitting skirts and pants from places like Wilson's House of Suede and Leather (hey, it was the early 90's!).  

I LOVE leather, the feel, the smell, the look; I even love the vegan and faux-leather and always have! Back then, I was willing to compromise true fashion just for the chance to rock leather that was often too tight or didn't fit well at all.  I could never find the cutest items in my size or that seemed to compliment my shape, which isn't quite straight size, but not quite, plus size either.

To read more of my thoughts on the leather trend for curves, click here.  Much thanks to the beautiful Kadia B. for the opportunity, love this site!

Portions of the original article re-printed via @fashionstyle.

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Join me for a #curvyactive October!

A friend of mine from college issued a challenge on her Facebook page: For the month of October commit to do 30 minutes of activity EVERY day.  You may be thinking to yourself, that 30 minutes of activity isn't hard at all. However, the discipline to make activity part of your DAILY life as opposed to something you do a few times a week is not as easy as it sounds.

Taking 30 minutes to honor your body daily should be a part of our daily activities.  However, as women, we routinely don't honor ourselves or our bodies.  We don't take the necessary time to relax and decompress from our busy lives or honor ourselves with the gift of physical activity.

I decided to take on the challenge for this October (a month before I turn 35!) in order to practice what I preach; after all one of the core beliefs (aka #curvyrules) is: 

My increasingly busy schedule has made me have to rethink activity in more lifestyle related terms.  This challenge for me, is less about going to the gym every day and more about the practice of taking 30 minutes a day for myself.  Not only is being active good for maintaining and tightening your curves, it is also great for stress relief and clearing your mental and spiritual space.

An L.A. girl to my core, I prefer working outside whenever possible.  My knees and ankles are shot, so I tend to favor long walks that have a variety of terrains available (hills, stairs, paved and unpaved areas), plus walking with and among nature is always good for centering oneself.  

Some other great ways to get to your thirty minutes of activity are:

• Take the stairs (at work, at home or at any other opportunity).
• Take a brisk walk for 15 minutes a few times a day, seeing the sun will lighten your mood and before you know it, you've done 30 or more minutes of activity. 
• Take the long way home; get off the bus, subway a few stops early.
• Park your car a block away from where you need to go.
• Don't order delivery! Walk, run or bike to pick up that food order.

Make a date! 
Another GREAT way to get your 30 minutes in to your everyday life is to make activity part of your social life.  Make a date! That friend (boy you crush on) that you've been meaning to get together with? Why not invite them out for a little active fun.

• Enjoy the city! Take a brisk walk, run or bike ride in your cities best public spaces (I love to do Central Park dates, myself.)
• Get active for a cause! Find a fitness minded charity event like SweatySaturday (October 13th) or Making Strides Against Breast Cancer's Annual Walk (October 21st) and get some friends together. 
• Sweat and Eat (or drink)! Create a negative calorie effect by making a date before your typical brunch, dinner or a drinks date to sweat it out.  Try that Stiletto Bootcamp you've been wanting to check out or use that SoulCycle online deal you bought months ago.  Either way, you can sweat (and groan) with a pal and then take the second part of your fun to your favorite bar or eatery.  You won't feel so bad about splitting an order of fries or a glass of wine if you just burned 500 calories!

Join me this October in getting active and making time for ourselves and honoring our bodies!

Embrace your curves, embrace your life.

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