Friday, January 16, 2015

Curves, Culture and . . .FEAR

Ok, yes I have said that before. Multiple times.

You see, I have come to this page...OFTEN to write.  I have written tons of blogs on pieces of paper, in my cell phone, in blogger, on email and more.  Blogs, musings, short stories, rants . . . that never saw the light of day because I keep giving myself reasons not to talk to you curvy's!

Some of those reasons include:
But I don't want to be a plus fashion blogger.
I have no time
I have no style, no one wants to see me on camera.
I'll come back when i revamp
Plan some more...
[Yada Yada Blah Blah] is already is in my lane, I have nothing to contribute.
I have horse teeth.
I've written more than a few blogs that no longer feel timely, why keep doing that.
I'm tired.
Does anyone even care?
Rolls, I got one wants to see those.
I've said I was gonna blog before--and fell off, I'm the blogger that cried blogger, and people think I'm lame.
I use words like lame.
I look to fat on camera.
I'm not a real writer.
What if I fail.
What if . . .
And then there is the vulnerability that comes with being a curvy, plus, cusp, #doubledigitdiva.  The vulnerability you feel when you put yourself "out there" in these here internets.  I was afraid of backlash, of comments, of hate.

I was AFRAID. So, so, so afraid.

But then I realized something: I am tired of being afraid.

So, I'm here. Raw. Naked. Honest. Not giving up this time.

Thanks to those of you who have encouraged and badgered me to come back...keep doing takes a village.

I am not sure what the future holds...but I am going to live in THIS moment and do what I feel when it seems right.




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